Jessica Simpson is at the height of her career. She’s been working out 3 hours a day so that she looks alright on a big screen for the redneck movie she’s in. She’s got a tight fucking body and huge tits and girl can sing. Take it while it’s hot, we can only anticipate her getting lazy and fat in the next couple of years, because that’s just what happens when your career goes to shit and you eat too much fucking ice cream. They’ve made a sex toy out of Jessica Simpson will 3 orificies to fuck, right now it’s on display in some wax museum you’ve all heard about, but when all the hype dies down she’ll be thrown in the dumpster out back and some lucky homeless guy’s gonna find himself a new wife. At times I am jealous of all the opportunity street people have with the luxury of not working or washing…this is one of those times…but I will find that homeless guy and buy his Jessica Simpson sex doll of him for a bottle of Jack…because that’s just how I’m living. Trust me when I say that it won’t be the first time I fuck some homeless dude’s sloppy seconds.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Being on a reality TV show is always a good way to pigeonhole yourself. People all think that their 5 mins of fame on one of these shows will end up giving them so many more oppotunites that will make them the next Tom Cruise, but the reality of reality TV is that you play yourself, you are edited to shit, everything is skewed to have a dramatic effect and you walk away from the experience humilated and hated by the rest of Society. The best concept for a Reality TV show is Big Brother, it’s all about locking motherfuckers up in a house and seeing how they interact after providing them with a bunch of booze to get the party started and make shit interesting….all while cameras are installed in every room of the house allowing average hillbilly trash watch the dynamic of the human experience. The good thing about the human experience is that it always comes down to sex, and on big brother we get to see the sex so it’s amateur porn in full effect, but it’s okay because it’s reality TV. These 2 Russians get caught on camera gettin down after a night of drinking…the good news for them is that by doing a reality TV show in Russia is the 3 people own TVs so the chance of running your life is a hell of a stetch. The reason only 3 people have TVs is because of communism. Embrace your freedom you dirty Americans.

Check the Clips Out

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

I think that people who fuck fleshlights are funny because they are clearly people who can’t get real pussy, but try to pretend that they get so much pussy they need to use a Fleshlight in between all the pussy to keep them ready for the pussy that throws itself at them later that day. I like the way these virgins pretend to know what a real pussy feels like and constantly talk about how real the fleshlight is in comparison to real pussy, all the while not knowing what real pussy is….because if they knew what a real pussy felt like, they would know that a fleshlight although mimics a pussy it sure isn’t the real fucking thing….the problem with the fleshlight is that it implies that most men only care about the pussy and other orifices like the ass and mouth, without including the emotional attachment we all deeply crave. Fact is a rubber pussy is never a real pussy and that you have just read a post that broke the record for using the word pussy the most….that leads me into the Fleshlight post of the day:

The Fleshlight I ordered is the Pink Lady Super Tight Wonder Wave. Upon removing it from the box, I was impressed at how lifelike the material of the insert felt. After rinsing it thouroughly and soaking it in very warm water for about 5 minutes, I put on some porn, applied some lube to both myself and the insert and went at it. WOW–it felt very similar to a real vagina. I experimented a bit with the end-cap/suction control and found that looser(less suction) was better. One of the best parts of this first session was the fact that while watching the porn while using the Fleshlight, it was much easier to imagine myself in the situation depicted on screen than would have been the case were I using my hand. Well, needles to say, the session ended with a very good orgasm. As this is the only sexual apparatus I’ve ever used, I can’t compare it to the competition, but I can’t imagine anything comming closer to the real thing that Fleshlight. I look forward to many future sessions with this amazing product. Thanks ILF!!
Reply With Quote

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

I was surpised to see this dirtbag whore wearing underwear, it would have been nice if she has been wearing a chastity belt the night she got pregant, because sucking dirty cock won’t get you knocked up with a dirtbag fetus that will only crow up to be a total fuck-up…I predict Britney’s kid will not only be a spoiled white trash hip hop brat, but he will also drop out of school, do lots of meth and beat up his skanky girlfriends before dying of a drug overdose, that is if he doesn’t die of mal-nourishment as an infant because of Britney’s poor diet and rancid breast milk. I guess that wasn’t a very funny post, it was kinda morbid, the humor is that Britney will give birth without realizing it…baby Spears-Federline will just fall out of her junk without her knowing, because she’s trash and that’s just how it goes down….I guess it’s better that she does wear underwear that doubles as a safety net for her little offspring……in the mean time…get a glimpse of the mound that was raw dogged and that is soon to be significantly enlarged….pregnancy’s a bitch…but it’s such a beautiful thing. RESPECT.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

I don’t consider this a porn site, except 1/2 of you come here to jerk off, hi Dad. Who am I kidding, I never knew my dad. When your mother’s a whore, her job is to fuck, and when getting pregnant and not being able to afford an abortion, being forced to work through the first 8 months of the Pregnancy (I was a month pre-mature), it’s hard to determine which of the many traveling salesmen, drunken donkey farmers or European tourists knocked you up. But if I had a dad, he would be jerking off to my site. I came across this porn gallery of a stepfather fucking his stepdaughter, I think it’s appropriate, not because I sleep with my stepdaughters, but would if I wasn’t impotent and if it wasn’t frowned upon in the community. I like you, conform. I know I haven’t updated lately, but it’ll come one day, just keep coming back, that’s the best I can offer.

Stepdaughter Sex Videos

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Obviously being on Big Brother doesn’t give you any sense of what’s hot or what’s stylish, you’re stuck in a house with a bunch of rednecks, not that I have seen the show, but I did see an episode with some cowboy hat rocking toothless guy and his long lost sister (that’s what happens when you are trash, you lose your kids), anyway it doesn’t matter, bitch is showing the world her cellulite ridden legs and her dirty little ass, and I know some of you will be mad, because you have no taste and this is how all the strippers at your local truck stop dress…..including your mom and sister, I hear they have a great lesbian show. It’s okay, we all gotta make a livin’ somehow.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Obviously being on Big Brother doesn’t give you any sense of what’s hot or what’s stylish, you’re stuck in a house with a bunch of rednecks, not that I have seen the show, but I did see an episode with some cowboy hat rocking toothless guy and his long lost sister (that’s what happens when you are trash, you lose your kids), anyway it doesn’t matter, bitch is showing the world her cellulite ridden legs and her dirty little ass, and I know some of you will be mad, because you have no taste and this is how all the strippers at your local truck stop dress…..including your mom and sister, I hear they have a great lesbian show. It’s okay, we all gotta make a livin’ somehow.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

I assume you all know what a fat manager is, considering they are always the girls you end up with. I know I am giving you way too much credit by thinking you do actually get pussy, so let me rephrase that, a fat manager is the girl you would end up with if you actually left your house and talked to girls. If you still don’t get it, because you are an idiot, the fat manager is the ugly girl that the hot girl surrounds herself with to make herself look better. The fat manager is a pain in the ass for people like me who like to fuck hot chicks because they always get dumped on you when you are moving in on the hot girl, they sit and talk to you, and you try to humor them and make them laugh because you think if she likes you, she will put the good word in for you. What you don’t realize is that she ends up digging you and when you ask to be hooked up with the hotty cuz community service is over, she cock blocks you, guilt trips the hot girl, because she gets all the guys and life’s not fair…..kill yourself if life’s that hard you ugly bitch, and get out of my way, cuz I want your friend lickin my asshole and not you, but I will let you watch, cuz I am into that. Paris Hilton’s got a couple fat managers at the beach…but who wants Paris’ cunt, that shits seen more unprotected cock that an effeminate inmate with a life sentence…..rich girls don’t have to use condoms….that’s the rumor.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

I assume you all know what a fat manager is, considering they are always the girls you end up with. I know I am giving you way too much credit by thinking you do actually get pussy, so let me rephrase that, a fat manager is the girl you would end up with if you actually left your house and talked to girls. If you still don’t get it, because you are an idiot, the fat manager is the ugly girl that the hot girl surrounds herself with to make herself look better. The fat manager is a pain in the ass for people like me who like to fuck hot chicks because they always get dumped on you when you are moving in on the hot girl, they sit and talk to you, and you try to humor them and make them laugh because you think if she likes you, she will put the good word in for you. What you don’t realize is that she ends up digging you and when you ask to be hooked up with the hotty cuz community service is over, she cock blocks you, guilt trips the hot girl, because she gets all the guys and life’s not fair…..kill yourself if life’s that hard you ugly bitch, and get out of my way, cuz I want your friend lickin my asshole and not you, but I will let you watch, cuz I am into that. Paris Hilton’s got a couple fat managers at the beach…but who wants Paris’ cunt, that shits seen more unprotected cock that an effeminate inmate with a life sentence…..rich girls don’t have to use condoms….that’s the rumor.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

There’s something amazing about small towns, and that something has to do with all the bored perverted hicks. They don’t know what the fuck to do with themselves except fuck the neighbor’s dog and videotape their wives getting facials from half the town, including your father, the highschool gym teacher and the police chief, because everyone is equally fucked up and you have all known each other from birth, it’s only natural to turn monotony into opportunity and that always comes in the form of town gangbangs with the local slut. The benefit of having a town that is only 2 hours outside of the “big” city is that there’s always one guy with the foresight to start something big, and in the case of Renfrew Canada, that came in the form of a Video Store/Sex Shop/Tanning Salon all under one roof. This shit is lateral expansion at it’s finest and if they ever opened a fish taco stand in the back, I could call this shit home.

Visit them at MovieMat

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted