The other day I was watching TV at my girlfriend’s house, and turned to the Discovery Channel in hopes of seeing people getting eaten by sharks. What do I get instead of bloody shark death? FIT-TV.
FIT-TV has no business on the discovery chanel, it should be on The Comedy Network. Once i started watching it, I couldnt get past the fact that there are hundreds of women, accross the country, jumping around in thier living rooms to some homo in bicycle shorts. Perhaps i am just jealous because this motherfucker has a TVshow, biceps, and a tropical backdrop, but I dont think so.
I think people who workout all the time are lame. Do they think it will get them laid? I weigh 140 soaking wet, and have a hard time carrying groceries to my car. However, my girlfriend is hot, and we have sex…on weekends…when its dark…and shes drunk. My point is, to quote fight club, “self improvment is just masturbation, but self destruction…now that takes a real man”.
So heres to drinking, smoking, drug abuse and having sex with hot chicks.
Team Fuck – ing The Little Guy.
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There is something amazing about breast feeding, I think it mainly has to do with the fact that I am a huge fan of dres like a baby and sucking on my wife’s tits, soiling my diaper, and having her change me while telling me how I am such a good little boy. I think this is also because I was neglected as a child, I don’t think I was breast fed at all and if I was, it was probably of poor quality. My mom was a crack addicted prostitute, I can’t imagine crack addict breastmilk having all the essential nutrients needed for baby to develop into an normal person. I have read stories that crack babies are born addicted, I guess I am lucky that I have no addictions, I only drink 26er of Jack and smoke a pack a day, dabble in various forms of drugs, mainly prescription pills, but I do it all recreationally, I guess I like recreation more than you do.
Bikini waxes are so played out it is not even funny. Everyone knows that the real hipsters are going back to their roots and keeping it real with bush, and hipsters are always right, thanks to them cocaine is popular again. There is nothing cool about having the same haircut as all your friends, so why do you want the same motherfucking pussyhair style as every girl. There is an element of excitment that comes when you see a girl in nothing but booty shorts with a plentiful bush showing through the top. I personally love the way it fills them out, like a magical pillow. 
People say that large penised individuals aren’t social conscious people because they are too busy grabbing thier crotches and pulling their dicks out in public for innocent girls on the public transit line to enjoy. I guess force feeding people your penis is not always greeted with open arms, but you know when they grow up, hit puberty and find a penis of their own – your large penis will be branded in their minds…who am I kidding, you aren’t well-endowed, otherwise you’d be out getting pussy and not sitting here writing posts, I mean…reading posts….Anyway, I like to go to the Large Penis Group to see what’s up and this riveting conversation was started…and this is what he had to say….never trust middle school teachers with your children….
