So this past weekend was nice, i started this abstinence thing because my cantor told me that i would cum alot harder with him if i would abstain from sex more, so that when he takes me behind the bimah to show me who god’s prophet is, the lack of cumming on my part would have built up to the extent that i would explode-only i would not be exploding, i would just be coming alot more, shaking more vigorously and altogether screaming my tonsils out with the release of my bodily fluid.
READ THE REST OF THIS STORY – AFTER THE JUMP
i spent two days not doing anything with my nether regions- i did not even let the sultanate of the UAE come and play with my nipples during our weekly meeting. so you can probably guess how insane i am going. the thing is, i don’t want my cantor anymore. sure, he’s mexican and hairy and starts to smell like tequila bang bang when he starts to sweat when i play with his balls, but i am looking for something bigger, something better, maybe even something that comes in an human mouth machine box? but then again beat boxers are so last post, and guys in astronaut suits are so the post before that! this weekend it has been suggested that i do a burger king bathroom tour with my better half, so she and i will be doing some standing around at various burger king bathrooms in the downtown area. you will know me because i always have a cigarette in my mouth and my tits somehow always fall into view, and you will know her because my left hand will be up her vagina. so, see you there. AND LICK MY CAMEL TOE, FUCKERS!
Previously:
i am – soaking wet for jesus martinez / i am – coco / i am-who is this morning’s outfit? / i am – coming clean / I am – Another Magical Afternoon /I am-hitting the parade /I am – Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie /I am – all for sexual favours
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Yes, Lara Roxx the AIDS pornstar from Montreal is still working. She is getting all the really high paying gigs at a site called Sloppy Handjobs. These guys bust out a jar of Vaseline and get the messiest Hand Job possible. When you throw Lara Roxx into the mix, not only is the handjob messy, but also lethal…I guess the guys at Sloppy Hand Job are FEARLESS! I would make the bitch wear a latex glove or some shit.
Death is inevitable. Most people don’t like to think about, other people dwell on it and some people have fun with it. 
Are you Born today? so were the people below. No one that specail is on the list so maybe it ia a bad day to be born. Or maybe one day you will be on this list for Feb 23 becuase the competition is light. Either way here is the top 2 people born today.
These pictures are making their rounds. Saw them a couple of days ago, but held out, because who cares about fucking nipples. I forgot, all you perverts love this shit. So after the jump – you will find nipples and shit…not actual shit. That would be gross.
